Author Topic: Scots Wha Hae: Blue Bonnets, Sluagh-Gairm! (Read 2346 times)

HIDDEN · « **on:** August 04, 2008, 07:26:07 PM »

An area for Scots tae blether - but we do not discrimate on grounds of race, religion, sex etc etc.

HIDDEN · « **Reply #1 on:** August 04, 2008, 08:22:24 PM »

The Haggis is a Bird, native to Scotland which frequents hilly areas and hide, procreate and give birth under Gorse Bushes. They also like the mists and wet weather for which Scotland is renowned. These Birds are flightless and have developed a peculiar adaptation - in order to avoid predators for Scotland’s famous Hills and Mountains - having one leg shorter than the other. Dependent on genetics, or how the parents decided to train and discipline them, The Haggis Bird runs around the hillside in either a clockwise or anti-clockwise direction - dependent on which leg is the shorter.

This short round fat bird is a delicacy much consumed by the Scots accompanied by large quantities of their National Drink. Conversation and songs redound - with the retelling of their History and Legends, recitations of The Bard and the singing of Bothy Ballads. With the warmth of the Fires protecting them from their icy winters, the good food and camaraderie, imbibing in their National Drink - the Scots then suffer from violent aggression toward their companions which are very quickly following by maudlin rapprochements and fits of Scottish Nationalism. It is not recommended that Tourists - and in particular Sassenachs - are present at these infamous events.

HIDDEN · « **Reply #2 on:** August 04, 2008, 08:35:55 PM »

Yes.... The Bruce

How could the man betray one of the greatest Scots ever!

No one will ever forgive the way he treated Mel Gibson

Hoots mon

JJ

HIDDEN · « **Reply #3 on:** August 04, 2008, 08:42:35 PM »

Tony Blair, the British Prime Minister, is being shown around a hospital. Towards the end of the visit, he is shown into a ward with a number people with no obvious signs of injury or disease.

He goes to greet the first patient and the chap replies:

"Fair fa' your honest sonsie face, Great chieftain e' the puddin' race! Aboon them a' ye tak your place, Painch, tripe, or thairm; Weel are ye wordy o' a grace as lang's my arm."

Tony, being somewhat confused (easily done) goes to the next patient and greets him. The patient replies:

"Some hae meat, and canna eat, and some wad eat that want it, but we hae meat and can eat, and sae the Lord be thankit."

The third starts rattling off as follows:

"Wee sleekit, cow'rin, tim'rous beastie, O, what a panic's in thy breastie! Thou need na start awa sae hasty, wi bickering brattle! I wad be laith to rin an chase thee, wi murdering pattle!"

Tony turns to the doctor accompanying him and asks what sort of ward is this. A mental ward?

"No," replies the doctor, "It's the Burns unit."

HIDDEN · « **Reply #4 on:** August 04, 2008, 09:13:35 PM »

JJ: Love it .....

....

Apologies for the Haggi..... Donahue wanted the Recipe.

The Bruce - Juicy death for Mel! The rats in cages with burning coals above them, placed on tummy of victim would have been more interesting to film that Hung, Drawn and Quartered... but Gibson did not want to compete with his Crucifixion Film.

Naughty Bruce --- playing Politics with a canny sense of survival -- tsk-tsk.

HIDDEN · « **Reply #5 on:** August 04, 2008, 09:53:39 PM »

What is not well know is the Haggis used to be a lot more widespread than most people think. They used to reach as far down as Sheffield

Here is a report of the last known English haggis hunt

Haggis Hunting on the North Yorkshire Moors

This once popular sport amongst the nobility and gentry of Britain and Europe reached its peak in the early 1920s with gentlemen converging on the stately homes of the North Yorkshire Moors from all around Europe during haggis hunting season. Back in those days, when large haggis herds roamed the Moors in abundance, a hunt would last for several days, with literally dozens of haggis being shot (or hagged in hunting parlance) in just one session.

A typical haggis hunting session would consist of the beaters, or haggillies to give them their correct name, taking their haggis hounds, an all but forgotten breed of specialised hunting dog, onto the Moors and herding the haggis towards the carefully positioned haggis hides. In these hides the hunters would wait patiently until the traditional cry of 'Hag Ho!' went up from the chief hagilly, at which point they would take up their gun positions and attempt to hag as many of the small but elusive creatures as possible as they stampeded past.

However, this wholesale slaughter of haggis could not continue without consequence. It was in 1931 on the final weekend of the haggis hunting season that Sir Ralf Liopo of Hunniby Hall*, with his sister Flora Poil, organised what was to prove to be the last ever haggis hunt on the Yorkshire Moors. Amongst his distinguished guests on that fateful hunting party were the Duke of Cumberland, the Laird of Lorne, the Marquis of Andouille and Count Braunschweiger of Austria.

On the first day, the Friday, not one haggis was hagged, even with the assistance of the highly trained haggis hounds. The second day proved a little more successful with a total haul of just eleven haggis, and the third day ended with a mere three haggis. Since this was also the last day of the haggis hunting season that year it can safely be claimed that these were the last ever haggis to be hunted successfully on the North Yorkshire Moors. This is because several weeks later it was discovered that the traditional haggis breeding grounds were all deserted and there were no breeding couples or young to be found anywhere on the Moors.

In the intervening years between then and now there have been several unconfirmed sightings of haggis around the Moors, but the sad truth is that the haggis were hunted out of existence on the Moors and are now confined to the Highlands of Scotland.

* Hunniby Hall has unfortunately fallen into disrepair since its glory days, but the remains can be visited in the charming North Yorkshire valley of Wintondale

A sad day indeed - JJ

HIDDEN · « **Reply #6 on:** August 05, 2008, 01:00:07 AM »

OK guys ....lets get our grammar correct.

What is the plural of haggis? (and just to be a wee bit patronising).....those who don't know what plural means.....it means a number or quantity more than 1

Is it haggi or is haggises? $:-\$ $:-\$ $:-\$

HIDDEN · « **Reply #7 on:** August 05, 2008, 01:15:21 AM »

As the Hagg are related to sheep the plural would be Hagg, unless of the Yorkshire variety which would then be called spawney eyed wassocks.

Previous posts referring to hagg as some type of bird are based on a foolish chuchter fairytale.

Is tha noo a fact,

HIDDEN · « **Reply #8 on:** August 05, 2008, 01:21:02 AM »

This should be good

A 'mick' asking a grammar question

However it depends if they are male or female

Several Male Haggises are Haggeises
More than one Female is Haggi

However the sexing of the Haggis can be notoriously difficult (and in particular those who like flowers carved into their drink find it impossible) It therefore internationally accepted that both is acceptable

However when out spotting the Scotsman if often heard snickering when the non Scots get it wrong

Cheers

JJ

HIDDEN · « **Reply #9 on:** August 05, 2008, 01:29:06 AM »

Quote from: HIDDEN on August 05, 2008, 01:15:21 AM

Is tha noo a fact,

Bob -

For Scots Immigration to give you a Passport (issued in Cowdenbeath - the "Athens" and Administraton Centre of Fife - Region Refered to by Inhabitants as The Kingdom with Dumbferline being the "Paris")

- you have to learn Noo is Now - and No is ..... ummm... NO! :-) No is frequently used for those that go aft aglae.

p.s. are Wassocks and Cassocks of the same Genre or is it a Species?

HIDDEN · « **Reply #10 on:** August 05, 2008, 01:37:38 AM »

Yes, but it Bobs defence I think he was trying to convey the accent rather than the length of the vowel

as always its not how long it it it is how it is used

JJ

PS - Of course - Is it nay a fact would be better

HIDDEN · « **Reply #11 on:** August 05, 2008, 01:41:30 AM »

Sorry to go so fast Fizzy - it is hard to look at a dictionary and thesaurus at the same time no doubt

HIDDEN · « **Reply #12 on:** August 05, 2008, 08:35:10 AM »

JJ:

Bob's an Honourary Scot - just helping him with the Language Test

There are so many permutations of "No" (

) in Scotland - this is a difficult one....

Awra brest

HIDDEN · « **Reply #13 on:** August 05, 2008, 11:40:32 AM »

Quote from: HIDDEN on August 05, 2008, 01:41:30 AM

............. and thesaurus at the same time no doubt

I thought those things became extinct 60 million years ago

HIDDEN · « **Reply #14 on:** August 05, 2008, 01:13:34 PM »

Its true I was actually using phonetics, I will try to be true to the vernacular in future.

BTW shoulnt it be "No is frequently used for those that aft gang aglae"? Or you may have a subset of scots used in Edinburgh as it is a posh place.

Wassocks are not Cassocks as there are no priests in Yorkshire, a godless place.

A scots saying
Ye cum o the McTaks, but no o the McGies

Spoken of those more eager to receive than to give.

Bob

News:

Scots Wha Hae: Blue Bonnets, Sluagh-Gairm!