Funny Expat Stories

[HIDDEN]

hi,

Whilst on the 90-day visa, a friend of mine tried to exit at Johor Bahru en route for Singapore. He found out that he'd made an error with the dates and had overstayed in Malaysia by a couple of days. The immigration officer told him that this was an extremely serious matter and he would be fined RM200 per day. He had to wait to see the officer-in-charge (OIC).

The OIC was having makan, so he took a seat. A couple of other guys joined him. Seems that they had come down from Thailand, and had also over-stayed. He told me that they really looked like a couple of street-smart travellers. He was nervous, they seemed pretty used to it.

My mate was called into an office first, saw the OIC, who looked through the passport and told him that the matter could be settled, there and then, for RM50. So he did. He then went to wait for the bus to Singapore. A bit later the other two guys joined him. He asked how much did it cost them. They seemed surprised and said they were broke, so how to pay. Neat story. 

regards, Scott

[HIDDEN]

hi,

This guy had a British passport. After more than 2 pretty continuous years on the 90-Day visa he was getting a rigorous passport inspection on leaving Malaysia. Most of these exits were via JB/Causeway/Singapore. Entering wasn't that much of a problem.

So he decided to get a new passport in Singapore. At the High Commission he was told by a Singaporean staffer, "you can't just walk in here and get a new passport when the old one is inconvenient to you." Seems that the staffer must have attended a course along the lines of "it's more than my life's worth."

So he snottily asked to speak with a fellow Brit, the more senior the better. This more senior officer didn't have the same front desk problem and he got the new passport.

After another 3 years odd of 90-Day visas, the hassle returned. So this time he decided to use a friend's washing machine as he'd often read about accidental passport laundering.

Well, he wasn't the brightest bulb on the Christmas tree, so he put in the passport, added detergent and conditioner, and set the machine for a full 120 minutes cotton wash. The passport probably disintegrated after a few minutes. When the machine stopped all that was left was some of the plastic cover and loads of bits of soggy pulp.

He says it took him forever to poke out the pulp from the holes in the drum. He cleaned out the filter and put all the bits into a plastic bag.

He'd prepared a wonderful exculpatory speech for the High Comm. It wasn't needed. The officer looked at the bag and said, "the maid" and, quick as a flash, my mate replied, "yes, she'll have to go."

regards, Scott

[HIDDEN]

Hi Scott,

A fine tale you tell
, please move the following post as you see fit.

A had a friend who was jailed in Kuwait some years ago for a driving offence, I think he hit a goat who was related to someone in high office.

Each night the prisoners used to sit in a circle and tell stories but my friends arabic was pretty poor so he didn't catch everything that was said. One evening old Mustaffa was holding forth and keeping his audience enthralled. Suddenly the group erupted into howls of laughter.

My freind asked a bi-lingual Kuwaiti to explain the joke. He was told that Mustaffa was explaining the reason for his sentence, apparently he had been starving his goat. The goat had duly reported him to the authorities and hence his current situation. Ah! said my friend is that why they are all laughing? No said the Kuwaiti (looking surprised). They are laughing because while Mustaffa is in jail the goat is starving to death!

We should have a funny expat story thread.

Regards

Bob

[HIDDEN]

hi,

Nice one Qjumper.   

regards, Scott

[HIDDEN]

hi,

I was in Ipoh some time ago, looking for oil filters for the Perkins diesel. I went into a hardware store where they spoke English.  My Chinese friend had come along to help and the Chinese storeowner chatted with him in Mandarin whilst his brother searched for the filters.

The filters were found so the shopowner started a discussion with his brother on how much to charge. It was in Mandarin and became very heated, they forgot about my Chinese friend. Eventually the shopowner gave me a price and my friend interupted to suggest that we leave and "think about" it.

Outside my friend told me that they had been arguing about how much to overcharge. One brother wanted to double the price, the other triple it.

regards, Scott

[HIDDEN]

hi,

Not particularily funny, but true, and almost an expat story.

A friend of mine, and girlfriend, visited from the UK. We made up a party of 4 for a trip to Penang. Usual sightseeing stuff around Georgetown and ended-up at Fort Cornwallis. 

My friends weren't so keen on the Fort so decided to look for a coffeeshop. However I like Fort Cornwallis so we paid for a couple of tickets, and wandered around. And were later surprised to see my friends. Seems that they had walked around outside the walls, found an unguarded entrance, and sneaked in.

When we came to leave we passed the ticket office, and the guy there spotted my friends and complained that they hadn't paid. My friend, not noted for discretion or eloquence, yelled at him something along the lines of, "your crappy fort isn't worth paying for," and then they both ran off.

We caught up with them a bit later. They thought it was hilarious. I didn't. We walked back in the general direction of Comtar, and then heard a bell, much shouting, and saw the ticket guy on his bike pedalling furiously to catch up with us. He was really upset and verbally laid into my friend, and insisted that they pay the entrance tickets. When he got the money he gave them the stubs, and, with as much dignity as he could being totally out-of-breath, mounted his bike and pedalled back to man the fort.

Full marks for dedication.

regards, Scott

[HIDDEN]

hi,

I was in Ipoh some time ago, looking for oil filters for the Perkins diesel. I went into a hardware store where they spoke English.  My Chinese friend had come along to help and the Chinese storeowner chatted with him in Mandarin whilst his brother searched for the filters.

The filters were found so the shopowner started a discussion with his brother on how much to charge. It was in Mandarin and became very heated, they forgot about my Chinese friend. Eventually the shopowner gave me a price and my friend interupted to suggest that we leave and "think about" it.

Outside my friend told me that they had been arguing about how much to overcharge. One brother wanted to double the price, the other triple it.

regards, Scott



Is the overcharging of foreigners a perennial problem in Malaysia.  Is it a good idea to take along Malaysian friend when shopping for such items, particularly where the items do not have at least a labelled "fixed" price.

Paul M

[HIDDEN]

hi,

In my own experience overcharging of folks who are unable to speak the local language is endemic worldwide. Any folks who do this in Malaysia are few and are novices compared to what happens to a tourist (like me) in China.

On my last holiday to China I had the phonetic Mandarin for "I'm totally broke and penniless" written on the palm of my left hand. And I still needed, on my right palm, the Mandarin for, "no really, I'm on my way to the pawnshop."

regards, Scott