Tales of Umbrage

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hi,

I thought that a thread named "Tales of Umbrage" would be novel. Please add-in any tales that you may have with the usual rider that names have been changed to protect the umbraged or umbragee.

The Umbraged Couple in a Portugese Restaurant

A couple of Brit expats that I knew in Portugal often arranged a meal between themselves, another couple and the two of us. A pleasant restaurant, wine, and at the end the guy from the organising couple would airily call for the bill and set about proportioning costs.

There was the usual mixed selection of Euro notes put into the centre of the table, then folks messing around between the dishes trying to sort out change, if any. And who had really had what. And did 2 starters make up for one larger than normal main course. And then the organiser would set aside a tip and start re-calling the waiter as it all took so long. 

What a fiasco, a great evening but always the same messy finale.

I came up with the efficient idea of ordering and paying by couples. Three couples, three orders, three bills, and believe me faster for the restaurant. And there was no need to sort out who had what, and no need for messing with change, and if anyone thought that the food/service was lousy, no need for a tip. That evening we met up with couple No: 2 who thought it a great idea. They'd always disliked the fiasco, and having to make sure they left home with sufficient small notes and coins.

In fact they thought it was so good that they announced it before I had a chance. The faces of the organising couple went into botox mode. And stayed that way for most of the evening. At the merciful end of the meal the 3 bills were settled, and pretty fast. The big-mouthed couple left.

I then got 20 minutes worth of "who do they think they are" and "did they think we were having more than our share of booze," and all the rest. I forgot to tell them it was my idea. We never did have another evening meal together.

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That is an interesting insight into what I might call 'cultural differences'. In Ireland, it is a point of honour NEVER to quibble over a bill -- except, perhaps, with a waiter who's chancing his arm.   

In the situation you described, Scott, if one person wasn't picking up the whole tab the bill plus tip would be divided by three and that would be it, regardless of who had what!

Perhaps because we'd all be too pissed to care!   

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Some restaurants in Oz don't encourage the splitting of bills so the diners have to tend to this messy task unless of course you split it three ways. Even then, there is the added hassle of the giving of change to large bills. I favoured paying for what you have ordered, less pointing of fingers that they ordered the more expensive dishes and I didn't etc. 

Perhaps a better idea, if you meet regularly would be each takes turn to take care of the dinning bill.

Have you ever witnessed the carrying on that goes on when it comes to paying of bills in Asian culture? Not sure if it is just peculiar to Malaysia and amongst the Chinese. I used to remember how the adults used to argue who should pay the bills. This 'act' which is of course cultural, goes on and on for an accepted amount of time (to save face) usually with the poor waiter probably thinking "wtf, just give me the correct amount of money" until someone deems his/her face has been saved and to graciously give in.

I used to watch in amusement and would sometimes pipped up "ok, give me the money both of you, I will settle the bill and keep the rest" LOL!!

I was an enterprising kid even then.